Guide To Confession
by xxAngelicDreams
Summary: Naru. An overly intelligent, narcissistic person, decided to confess to Mai with the help of a guide book showing how to confess to someone you love. But, to everyone's dismay, his plan turns into a total failure. Naru x Mai - Kind of. XD One-shot!


**Hello Everyone! :D One-shot for the sake of some Naru x Mai. I'm being rather evil in this one. Especially to Naru. *Evil smirk* I was just thinking how would Naru try to confess his undying love and this random idea formed in my useless, extremely uncreative brain.  
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**Can you actually imagine? The narcissist is actually going to learn how to confess to a girl he _loves_. A person other than _himself_. Now- isn't that a disgrace to all the narcissists in the world? XD**

**Anyways! XD Hope you enjoy! :) Please read and review. **

**Disclaimer: Do I even need to write one?**

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_Guide to confess your love for her. _

Naru shut the book with a slam. He seemed to have lost his mind for a second. Why the hell was he reading such an ineffectual book? If somebody found out that he was actually wasting his time to learn how to confess to some girl, his pride would have already gone down like the state of the stock market nowadays.

The narcissists around the world would have been gaping at such an unfaithful narcissist. The world would have decided to make a sculpture of him with the title: The Narcissist who fell in love with someone other than himself. Maybe that sculpture would have been voted in to be one of the seven wonders of the world.

But, isn't that too cruel? Aren't humans allowed to fall in love. Maybe even exceptions like narcissists falling in love with someone other than themselves would be accepted. Right?

He placed the tea-cup at his lips and slowly sipped the excellent tea his assistant made for him. He reopened the book as he read the first point in his mind.

_One_: _Adoration_: _Girls love being loved. Show her you adore her even before confessing by complimenting her, noticing what she wears (this does not imply to ogling at places you should not be staring at) and being a gentleman to her. She needs to know you like her in action, not just in words_.

He choked on the tea he was drinking. The words in the bracket were way too..._straightforward_. He took another sip of tea as he tried to calm his choking windpipe.

He though about the way he acted around her. His mind blanked out when he forced his memory to take him somewhere he had been sweet to her. He looked at the book with a blank look on his face.

_Was __teasing accepted...?_

_Two: Moderation is the key. Don't unexpectedly jump in front of her trying to kiss her or something, because the outcome might be something you might not expect. If you are going to do such things, make sure you have an insurance._

Naru smirked. Like he would do such things..._right?_ He was composed and he didn't even think of her in that manner...He hoped so.

_Three: Be romantic: When deciding on where and how to express your feelings, sometimes it pays to be a little more romantic. Take her out to her favorite restaurant... Someplace with good food and great ambiance._

Naru snorted and rolled his eyes. Indirectly it means to _empty_ your pockets. He stopped rolling his eyes and went back to reading this useless book.

_Four: Keep in mind that you should relax and just be yourself when you're around her, confessing your love. Be at your best behavior and composure. _

Naru felt a superior feeling overwhelming him. He was perfect. Way too perfect.

_Five: Finally. Confess your love to her when your ready._

He was definitely going to do that.

_Six: On being rejected, stay calm. For heaven's sake, don't apologize or say "Haha, just kidding!" That makes you look like a wimp with a poor sense of humor._

_And definitely do not do the following: _

_Bursting into tears and loud, tearful sobbing._

_Calling her a stupid bitch or some other nasty name._

_Fainting in shock/disappointment is just.......wrong._

_Throwing tantrums while wailing, "Wa mm zai!!!..." won't help._

_Don't be emo in front of her and start harping about what a failure you are..._

He rolled his eyes after reading this long list of don'ts. He was definitely not gonig to do that.

_Seven: Do not be scared of being rejected or confessing at the right time. _

Of course, he was not scared. Right?

Mai came in with a slight knock on the door.

"Naru your tea." Mai said as she placed the tea-cup on his desk. He eyed her, trying to recollect the book's guide. He gathered his courage to do this. It was his once in a lifetime's chance to be nice. He smiled at her.

"...Thank you..." He said. "Your tea is a good refreshment..." Mai looked at him with her eyes wide. But the reaction was not what he expected.

Huge tears began to well up in Mai's eyes. She dashed outside and jumped into Ayako's arms.

"Wah!! Ayako!! Naru is dying!! He just thanked me for making him tea!! He said that my tea was good! No!! Naru is on his death bed...no uh...death chair..uh..death office!!" Mai wailed. Ayako patted her on the head as she looked at Lin-san who had come out of his den for more tea.

"You better go dig a graveyard for Naru. I don't think he is going to live any longer." She said as she pointed at an extremely enraged Bou-san with shining eyes.

"Who dared to make my Mai cry?!" He snarled as he sped towards Naru's office.

Naru let out a huge sigh. He crushed the book in his hand and looked at it with a malicious look on his face. He dumped it into the trash after repeatedly allegedly stamping over it. He huffed and plopped himself on his comfortable black chair waiting for the imperishable doom, Bou-san to come and end his pathetic life.

He decided to confess the way the book said. He had tried to be nice to her but the plan beautifully backfired. Maybe, next time he should try confessing in his own way. Bou-san slammed open the door, his face red with anger. He let out another sigh.

Maybe after he is dead, he could think of more ways to confess his love to her, keeping the fact in his mind that he has to be _original_ the next time.

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**Thanks for reading! Maybe I made you laugh!! :D So how was it?...I hope Naru was not out of character... XD  
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**Go and click on the green button and tell me!! I'm waiting! Happy New Year!! **

**...Am I late....?**


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